Recently by Chris Clements

There's a famous Family Guy sketch where the first cop on the scene of a horrible car accident discovers that peanut-butter chocolate has somehow, inexplicably, been invented. So impressed by this, the policeman pulls out his service weapon and finishes off the two wounded drivers, eager to keep his secret.

This recipe is a bit like that sketch...except without the gun, or the car accident, or the cop. Or anything, in fact. No, this is probably just a pointless exposition that has wasted your precious time. Very sorry.

Breaded Chicken stuffed with Spiced Haggis

Ingredients

- 1 Plump Breast of Chicken (7-8oz)

- 3oz Haggis

- ½ fresh or flaked chilli

- A pinch of paprika

- A pinch of chives

- ¼ cup* double cream

- Mashed potatoes (2 per portion)

- dried breadcrumbs

- flour

- eggwash

- seasoning (to taste)

* A cup is a standard cup.

Ingredients for sauce

- 1 tbs black and pink peppercorn (crushed)

- 1 tbs French mustard

- 3-4 drops of Worcester sauce

- 1 dram whisky

- ½ cup red wine

- 1 cup demi glaze (or gravy granules)

- ¼ cup double cream.

Method

Make a slit down the thick side of the chicken breast. Stuff the chicken with the haggis, chillies, paprika, and chives and then season to taste.

Wrap the chicken in cling film. Tie a knot at the bottom of the chicken. Put in a dish and pour water a quarter of the way up. Cover the dish with tin foil and cook for 25-30 minutes at 200'C, until the chicken is firm.

Take out and leave to cool.

When chicken is cool, remove the cling film, and roll firstly into the plain flour, then through the beaten egg and milk wash, before rolling in the breadcrumbs until completely covered.

Deep fry or oven-bake the chicken until golden brown.

Add a little cream into a saucepan, add the mashed potatoes and chives, and season to taste. Cream the potato until light and fluffy.

Making the sauce

Put peppercorns in a pan with a little oil. When hot, add the whisky, mustard, red wine and a few drops of Worcester sauce. Add the demi glaze, or gravy granules. Add the cream, then reduce until the sauce thickens

To serve

Build your dish with potatoes at the bottom of the plate, rest the breaded chicken on top, and serve the sauce around the outside. Garnish with chives.

Hello.

How are you? I'm fine thanks.

My sister - fountain of knowledge that she is - gave me a helpful tip on how to save your figure and lower your fat intake. It really is quite something...

Y'see, she had a lovely big breakfast yesterday before a nice relaxing day in front of the telly, watching Jeremy Kyle and Homes Under The Hammer and Bargain Hunt and, and... And for this lovely big breakfast, she had:

- Two slice, white bread (pan)
- Lashings of butter
- A lot of cheese
- A couple of spoonfuls of baked beans
- A thin slice of ham

She had all of these healthy ingredients as a toasted sandwich, which I imagine had the grease drips all over the floor.

However, my dear (deluded) sister assures me that it was, in fact, perfectly healthy. She had cooked her specially-made sandwich on none other than a George Foreman Grill, which she swears got rid of all the fat.

"It all runs into a tray," she says, insisting she was sticking to a diet of some description.

There's my tip for the day: use a George Foreman machine and watch Jeremy Kyle. Healthy living has never been so easy...